An Honest Discussion
On Jesus, God, and Christianity
We’d been talking about religion.. She said, why's there have to be some kind of hell? Like what you do in this life has to be somethin' good or else you're dead for all eternity 'stead of playin around with Jesus and them? I said, yeah, like folks say it's a shame Ghandi's in hell. Her: Wasn't he a pedophile or somethin'? Him: Naww.. really? Her: Pretty sure. Him: Ah.. well screw him, then.. either way, though, he wasn't saved by the blood of the Lamb.. so he's a hell man. Her: That don't seem right, somehow. Him: You just said he was a pedophile! Her: Sure, but sayin' he wasn't one of them little pickle lickers, you mean to tell me he's still gonna burn? Him: Ain't me sayin' it! It's Jesus' own words. Her: Well I can't rightly abide by that line of thinkin'. Him: Most can't. Most don't even get a chance to. Born in the thick of the African jungle, your only education is the elephants and the leaves and the monkeys.. and whatever it is that being a kid of two nearly naked parents teaches you. Her: What about fire? That teaches you something. Him: Sure. Fire and huntin' and the strippin' the flesh of an animal. Her: Them folks got no choice in the matter. They believe whatever's right there in front of 'em. Faces and whatever force animates the length of the day. Fish in the stream. Frogs in the trees. They think they're the only people on earth. For generation after generation. You reckon they like livin' like that? Him: I don't think the thought ever occurs to 'em, to be honest with ye. Her: Whaddya mean? Him: What I mean is that they got nothin' to compare it to.. Do they like it as opposed to what? They ain't never even heard of Louisiana! Her: So they're pure, you're sayin'? Him: Honey, they are pure as lambs.. Her: But they ain't goin' to heaven, you're sayin'.. Him: Not if they ain't accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into their wild hearts. Now that's all supposin' Jesus was real o' course. And that he was holy and divine. And that on the third day he rose from the dead, shattering forever the old paradigm and ushering in a world where death is no longer the only possible outcome for a man's life.. but to make it so he must give his will and his life over to the pursuit of God.. Her: Through Jesus, though.. Him: Well yeah.. Her: And how exactly does that part work now? Him: Far as I can tell you just say a little prayer and ask him to come live in your heart. Make a little room and he moves right in. Her: Sounds almost sweet actually.. And so what? He just stays there forever, for all his meals and everything? Him: Yep. He stays there for as long as you keep goin' to church. Her: And if'n you don't? Him: Well, if'n you don't keep goin' to church, your heart gets all mussed up.. and no matter how much Jesus tries to clean it, black mold gets into the walls and he has to vacate immediately, black mold bein' one of the most evil substances known to heaven and earth.. But get this.. in hell, supposedly, it might as well be your toothpaste. Her: So church is what, then? Where Jesus gets his cleaning supplies? Him: In a way, sure. The longer you go without bein' at church, the dirtier your heart gets. Goin to church gives Jesus a chance to clean it. Her: So then what if you never been to church in your life? Him: Ain't no tellin' where your heart's at. Her: In any case, it seems like Jesus wants to help.. Him: Fair to say. He just don't always get a chance to.. Her: Well then I'm bettin' he makes it a point to see them African folks for what their hearts say, even if they never heard of Jesus. Him: For the sake of my own sanity, I'd like to bet you're right. Her: What about Ghandi, though? Him: Hell, prolly. Pretty sure he hated the Africans. And plus.. I heard he was a pedophile.